I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
