So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The beer is more important than you right now.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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