Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
