It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
