This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
