i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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