when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
How does it feel to date your dad?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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