my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
