I can't breathe out the right side of my face
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
