Sponge bath it is.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
