Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
