His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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