If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
