I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
