We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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