So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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