They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
