I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Success! We fucked roommates!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
