For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
