So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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