and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
