Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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