i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
