Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
