Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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