Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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