Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
