Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
