smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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