Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize