I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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