We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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