So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
