I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
