Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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