I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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