thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
sex in a hospital.. check
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
