I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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