your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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