he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize