I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Randomize
