can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
