Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
