Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
