the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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