Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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