matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
