I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
