thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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