About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
