Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
