My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize