ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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