finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
