since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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