I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
